The Nitroglycerin of Human Sexuality
“The point was that Ruth acted neither from passion nor greed. Rather, sacrificially setting aside personal preferences, she chose a marriage of benefit to her family. She reckoned her own happiness as secondary to provision of an heir for her late husband and Naomi. Such a model of selfless concern for the needs of others recalls the early Christian hymn about Jesus and his teaching that the “greatest” in the kingdom is everyone’s servant.” – Robert L. Hubbard Jr.
“I am your servant Ruth,” she said. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer of our family.”
“The Lord bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.” – Ruth 3:9b-11
I am sure that I am not the first person to use the analogy of sex and nitroglycerin. Nitroglycerin is of course both a life-giving medicine (vasodilator) and an explosive (key ingredient in TNT).[i] It has incredible power but how that power impacts a human being is based on how they encounter it. In a capsule form, it might save your life. In an explosive form, it might destroy your life. Sex is like that. Powerful stuff. Powerfully good in the right context, powerfully destructive in the wrong context. What makes Ruth 3 so unusual is that here a very sexual context and moment is not destructive. In so many Old Testament narratives, the opposite is true. Here are just a few examples connected directly to Ruth’s characters: Ruth’s people emerge from the mess of Lot and his daughters (Genesis 19:30-38), Boaz’s family tree includes the story of Perez’s conception as a product of the twisted tale of Judah and Tamar (Genesis 38:1-39), the last time the people of Moab (Ruth’s people) and the people of Judah (Boaz’s people) were in a sexual context it turned into massive death and destruction (Numbers 25:1-9). Contrast all that destructive history with Ruth 3 and the powerful and redemptive good that comes as the result of Ruth and Boaz behaving honorably. Here is the key difference in these situations and their opposite results: where self fits. For Ruth and Boaz, they refused to be selfish about sex. They refused to make it about themselves and instead, focused on being obedient to God and serving others. In all the other examples, with destructive consequences to prove the point, self was or became the focus and God’s rules about sex were ignored. And as it was true for Boaz and Ruth, so it is true to this day. Sex plus selfishness equals destruction. Sex plus self-lessness equals life giving.
In fact, God’s design for sex and the rules He puts around it fit this reality seamlessly. Much of what has gone wrong with sex in our culture is explained by this paradigm. It is selfishness that drives so much of the perversion and decay in our culture’s view of sex. From pornography to the casual ‘hook-up’ culture, so much is driven by the needs and desires of self. It is not the sacred mingling of souls that God designed, it is a worship of one’s own needs and desires as paramount. It is not the life-giving culmination of two people becoming one but the fulfilment of one person’s wants with little or no care for the other or the consequences. Is it a surprise to us that in a me-obsessed culture, sexual deviance of the kind that even our hyper-secular society labels illegal is spiraling out of control?
Here though is the main point, it is time for the people of God to do more than rail against certain perversions of the Biblical sexual ethic. It is time for us to learn and teach and live out a fully orbed sexuality as God designed it. Parents must do better in teaching their children. Pastors must do better in teaching their churches. People caught up in sexual sin must be able to find hope and healing in the church. All the power of sex must be taught and understood and appropriately shared. Both the sad and sordid details of destruction and the positive life-giving sides of sex and sexuality.
The inventor of nitroglycerin was Albert Nobel (of Nobel prize fame). He developed it for its explosive qualities. By accident it’s medicinal qualities were discovered though not understood. Ironically, Albert developed a serious heart problem and refused to take nitroglycerin for it. He died a short time later. Sadly, for too long the people of God have done poorly at doing much but cautioning people about the powerful destructive effect of sex outside of heterosexual marriage. And this is not wrong but, without teaching the powerfully good side of sex and sexuality, few will see the powerful potential for good that a Biblical sexual ethic offers.
[i] https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/engineering/nitroglycerin